(Photo: MarcinMoga / Lolek via Flickr)
The other night I had a dream that has stayed with me as I “noodle” its meaning in my life. In it, two dear friends of mine had a gift for me. In the dream, I knew they were planning to give me this gift, and yet I avoided them because I was embarrassed that I did not have a gift for them in return; I repeatedly came up with excuses to avoid seeing them until I was able to procure a gift that I could give so I could feel “worthy” of receiving the gift they had for me.
Quid pro quo consciousness – I didn’t even realize I had it. But there it was, staring me in the face via my not-so-subtle dream. When I awoke in the morning I wondered what other gifts in life I was avoiding, or blocking, because I didn’t feel like I had anything to offer in return? As much as I love the line from The Prayer of St. Francis – “it is in giving that we receive” – I was reminded that receiving must take place for the giving to be complete; the giver and receiver are equally important elements of the equation. The law of circulation cannot operate in our lives if we are only a one-way channel of giving to the world. If we feel we must somehow be “worthy” to receive whatever gifts Life has in store for us, we block the flow of good into our lives by putting that good on hold until we do whatever we believe is necessary to prove our worth.
“God enters into every individual by a private door,” says Emerson, and here I was, apparently, shutting that door in God’s face. Without realizing it, I have been pinching off the gifts life has for me, for the law of correspondence says “as within, so without.” And if I somehow believe that I must be worthy before I can receive, the Universe will correspond by withholding my good until I deem that I am worthy enough to receive whatever it is. That is the gift of our free will at work. It serves as a constant reminder that the real work is always within our own consciousness.
In his essay “Spiritual Laws,” Emerson said, “the fact that I am certainly shows me that the soul had need of an organ here. Shall I not assume the post?” The very fact that I exist is all the proof I need that I am worthy of all the gifts Life has in store for me. There is no other barometer.
Only you can separate you from the Love that you are, from the wholeness and perfection that you are. Life is eternally giving Itself to you, without constraint, without judgment. Are you willing to accept the gift?
Compromise — I am blessed to have known Ted Kennedy in my lifetime. I knew him because he was our State Senator and because he was a champion for our veterans. I met him in person by chance when we were on the same flight from Boston to LA. He spoke to my children with such love, compassion and passion about making a difference in the world. I read his book, “True North” and he was a master at compromise. I pray that all our leaders can open up and receive the legacy and the Spirit that he leaves so that it lives on. This morning, despite it being Sunday, there were a lot of potentially conflicting demands for what needed to get done. We were able to reach compromises to ensure that everyone was able to get their priorities taken care of. Everyone felt like a winner. May I have the clarify of vision and alignment with God to approach every situation with love, compassion and passion and to embrace the gift of compromise.
During this morning’s meditation as the sun came streaming through the window and the birds were singing I thought about something I had read on a blog (was it here or Kate’s Prayer Blog?) about creating a complaint free zone. What happens if I catch myself every time I am about to launch a complaint about something or someone and replaced it with a blessing? What if everyone ceased complaining, focused on blessing each other and listening to each other and working together to create solutions instead of adding to the static of creating more problems. Oh what a world it would be! And so I commit to changing my habit of complaining and focusing on the blessings and gratitude. Of course a little venting now and then is important for mental health but I want to use the venting to take me to the higher ground of peace and love rather than staying in the soup of complaint. Blessings to all and thank you Sumaiya for helping me to continue to grow and become aware and awake.
This morning I woke up to the sounds of hearing my daughter telling my husband she was running late and could she get a ride to the train station — my immediate thought was – well how come you’re running late? Why didn’t you leave yourself more time? yadyadyada and then I stopped and became aware of this inner critic — so hard on myself and others. And this inner critic – aka – the ego – who edges God out – is responsible for creating conflict rather than peace. And so I said, thank God my husband is able to give her a ride; thank God she has a job to go to; thank God we can be loving parents. I must admit it was a real shift for me and at first difficult but then as I relaxed into it I heard the lyrics to the song, “Let my people go” to let my ego go — and what a more beautiful world it will be when we all live from our heart, live from Spirit and let the ego go…Bless you Sumaiya for helping me to become more aware of how my thoughts and feelings can create a much more beautiful world when I stay connected to God.
I just let my breath guide my meditation this morning – and then – Mr. Rogers popped into my thoughts. I was thinking about the words that Congress uses – partisan, across the aisle – words of divisiveness and last night I watched a little news (not something I usually do) but I heard our President say something to a congressman who was changing his vote on health care to a yes. The tone was not one of love and gratitude but of sarcasm – now maybe I read into the tone or was half asleep when I heard it but this morning I realized what if we were all part of Mr. Rogers Neighborhood and treated each other with the same gentility and kindness that he preached in the show. If you look at the kingdom, even though the phrase “correct as usual King Friday” was used the King was always open to learning life’s lessons and there was a joy and a humility communicated when he did learn from others. The operas Mr. Rogers produced were about the journey of self discovery or the importance of being different. One of my favs as I wrote on Kate Loving Shenk’s prayer blog this morning is “I don’t want to be a cow…” about the journey of self discovery and the importance of being just who you are. So I think it’s time that we have a Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood summit – who knows – we might just all become good neighbors!
These last two mornings have been a wonderful opportunity to put into practice what I have been ‘preaching’. Our cellar flooded for the first time in 14 years and there were some ‘testy’ exchanges going back and forth in our household from the stress. But fortunately, we were able to return to a place of love much more quickly than we ever have! I find that in the midst of conflict saying the Ho’oponomo prayer is a wonderful way to restore peace. My prayer is that we all join together in whatever prayers can bring healing, joy, light and love into any situation.
Blessings – turn the other cheek – release fear and a sense of victim-hood This morning my daughter called me from the train at 6:30 am! I am no longer a morning person. She told me that the T driver took her Charlie Card and swiped a double fare and said to her ‘there that’s for all the times you people don’t pay.’ She called me asking me what to do – should she get her ‘badge’ number and report her? Fortunately I was half asleep so Spirit spoke – let it go, bless her and think of all the times the Universe has given to you. I believe this is what Jesus meant by turning the other cheek. But it is so easy to react with fear and a sense of being a victim. Now there are times when we have been victimized by others but then healing comes through forgiveness – the gift we give to ourselves. My prayer is that I find the strength and courage to bless and forgive others. May we all release fear and being entrenched in our unyielding ways and see that there is love, light, joy and abundance for all!
Day 14 – conflict resolution was the phrase that came to me during morning prayer today. What creates conflict? Is all conflict ‘bad’? I realized that conflict can be healthy – IF I listen with an open heart and discern the information that the other person is sharing with me. I must also be in the present moment – expectations that the way a person behaved in the past is the way they are going to be right now fuels the flames of conflict; bringing up the past pours gasoline on the flames of conflict. I thought about what I can do to extinguish the flames which can rage out of control. Breathing, staying centered in God and asking God what I can say in a given situation, asking God for wisdom and sometimes I just need to walk away. May I listen with an open heart and create peace in my thoughts and behaviors and may I see God in each person I meet. May our leaders and the leaders of the world share this perspective.
God keeps calling me back to post my morning meditations about prayers for healing so here I am on day 13! A lucky day as this morning I heard the word harmony speak to me. Harmony – a blending of voices — a blending of hearts. What thoughts of mine create discord? What happens when I hear my thoughts going off key? Thank you God for helping me to become aware of my discordant thoughts and to bring them back into alignment with You. What can I do in my thoughts, in my heart and in my actions to create harmony within me and then let the ripples go out into the world around me.
One nation, under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all
Blessed are the peacemakers
Nelson Mandela – forgiveness — if we do not forgive then our captors still win
These are the thoughts which came to me during morning prayer for healing day 12. Awhile ago I received a flurry of emails from my veterans who were my patients when I was at the VA. There was such rancor about the government wanting to take God out of public places and that the word God was omitted from a quote on a memorial. At the time I thought, this is silly and deleted them. But then this morning, it came back to me — it’s not silly at all but it is not about writing the word God on a stone – it is how to we hold God in our heart.
I remember when I was a guest blogger for a friend of mine and she told me she did not want to offend her clients by having me use the word God so could I please clarify what I meant by God. I capitulated and almost apologized that I was using God in the blog. And then someone else asked me to write a poem for his blog and again, he didn’t want to offend his clients with using the word God only this time I did not capitulate and told him that this is who I am and this is who I believe and if he felt his clients would not be receptive to my message – that was fine but I would not alter it. And so I reflected on how many times, like Peter, I denied God in my life – not meaning to but feeling reluctant to allow who I really am shine. So how can I ‘blame’ politicians for their concerns about being politically incorrect when in my own life I had the very same concern. My prayer is that we all find the strength and courage to join together as one nation, one people, one world under and with God, indivisible with liberty and justice for all. Amen
Good morning on day 11 of Prayers for Healing – I became aware in the stillness of my morning prayer how easy it is to complain and to focus on struggle, strife, negativity. So I asked God to please help me to monitor my thoughts and every time that I focus on a problem rather than a solution to let me be aware. God suggested that whenever I become aware of this to call 911 and ask God to send angels to the situation, person, myself to help repair and heal the situation and to seek solutions in light, love, joy, peace and healing. Instead of reacting, & complaining, ask God and find the path to creation.
Good morning! When I saw an energy healer to help me on the road to the Boston Marathon she told me how she gets her office ready each day. She lights a candle which is based on a small water fountain and in the air writes with her finger peace. She has rocks in the office which she collected from various trips to symbolize earth. I thought how wonderful if world leaders and people in seats of decision making were to start their day harnessing the elements of earth, air, fire and water and wrote in the air – peace, kindness, hope, possibility, abundance, cooperation — and so I blessed them with imagining this scene as the start to their day.
Yesterday I received an email from my congressman Barney Frank. I have no idea how he got my email address; I do not remember ever sending him an email. But I was supposed to receive this email. It was many paragraphs long explaining about his vote on the health care bill – what he supports, what he doesn’t support, procedural rules. I am a reasonably intelligent woman and I could not follow what he was saying. This morning during my meditation about healing divisiveness, I asked myself what is the lesson to be learned? Words can be powerful tools in creation – don’t waste them but focus on what needs to happen. Less is more. It is so easy to get bogged down in structures already in place and pushing against them – instead, it is time to take down walls and create an all embracing space and fill it with love. It is with the eyes of faith that I can look beyond appearances and dare to imagine something new and wonderful. Thank you Sumaiya for being an angel of spiritual growth and awakening in my life.
Dear Sumaiya, What a beautiful post. I am learning how to open my heart and receive realizing that it is not always about me giving. Yes it is wonderful to give and practicing random acts of kindness to others feels phenomenal – and in giving we do receive the joy and love involved but it is important to receive – just allow receiving to happen because it is all a part of the universal flow. Terry Cole Whittaker talks about taking off the tourniquet to allow the blood to easily flow the way nature intended it to. You are a beautiful gift in my life – a joy to receive the words you write.
This morning during my prayer for healing I imagined the reflecting pool in Washington DC. The incredible stillness…and feeling the spirit of those who went before JFK, RFK, Martin Luther King, Jr and all who had a vision for our country and the world – their different words echoed in my meditation and I imagined all the world leaders gathering around the reflecting pool, being still, inspiring the words of those who went before and allowing Spirit to ignite within them the desires for peace, abundance, joy and freedom.